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Family dinners aren’t just for special occasions and holidays such as Thanksgiving.
According to Cheryl Skaien, early childhood co-ordinator at the Lethbridge Family Centre, it is important for families to eat meals together, preferably five times a week whether that’s breakfasts, lunch and dinners or all three.
Mealtimes are an important family bonding time, which can be lost as more people become consumed by technology such as cellphones, and engaging in text messaging and social networking. Skaien has heard of families who text-message their children to come to the table for dinner.
But more important than finding the time to gather around the table to enjoy a meal as a family is pulling the plug on electronics and having “no iPods or cellphones or electronics at the table,” she said.
A recent national study conducted by Canadian Omnibus reveals as we become increasingly immersed in the digital age, the intrusion of electronic communication devices during traditional times such as family meals is spiralling. The study shows 80 per cent of Canadians admit to having at least one type of electronic communication device turned on and in use during family meals. More than half of Canadians (51 per cent) said the TV stays on at mealtimes.
While research shows the propensity to have these devices turned on during family meals, more than 81 per cent of Canadians say they would enjoy dinner more without these distractions. It’s an indication Canadians still hold this traditional event sacred and meaningful.
Skaien said studies show that children have a greater chance of turning to drugs and alcohol if they don’t eat with the family. She said that is more than likely due to the fact that eating meals with the family means they forge closer bonds and support systems within their families and therefore are less likely to succumb to negative influences.
“They will be more likely to talk about things that are bothering them,” she said.
“Mealtimes should be good, respectful times to have a conversation. And the conversation should be enlightening, not educational.”
Skaien said meals should be a time of peace, which give children the opportunity to share their day plus any concerns or problems they are having and need some help or guidance.
She noted people are busier today, especially children, who are involved with a variety of extra-curricular activities such as sports, after-school activities, arts, music, drama and countless other things. That makes it all the more important to plan family meals together, which makes it all the tougher to co-ordinate schedules.
“Mealtimes should be positive times. They should not be a time to discipline the child or complain about the child,” she said.
She added family mealtimes that are planned are not only more likely to consist of healthier food items, they are also an opportunity to get children involved in the preparation of the meal.
“If you prepare a meal, you are more likely to serve healthy fruits and vegetables. And you can do some pre-planning with the family,” she said, noting the whole family can be involved by taking certain roles by doing certain jobs and getting specific ingredients.
What about televisions? It’s a matter of personal preference.
“I think the TV should be off. It’s a distraction. Mealtimes should be focused on the meal,” she said.
“Besides, you really don’t want to watch the news while you eat.”
But can having technology on like a television actually bring people closer together?
Donna Glock and her daughter Shannon Voykin say having the TV on during mealtime actually brings them closer.
“We’ll cook supper and eat it in front of the TV and watch FOX News together and the Turner Movies,” Glock said.
“Then we’ll sit at the kitchen table and discuss the issues.”
Voykin agrees, saying watching TV over dinner presents an opportunity for her to discuss the news with her mother because “she knows a lot of about current events.”
Glock’s dinners weren’t always in front of the TV. When Glock was growing up, her parents were very strict about family dining time.
“We always ate supper together,” she said.
That’s a tradition she continued with her own children.
“When I was growing up a kid in the ’40s and ’50s, my parents didn’t even allow a TV in the house and we always ate dinner at the kitchen table together. My parents were music teachers and they always thought we could do something more productive,” Glock said.
Of course, TVs were rare in the neighbourhood back then.
“We had to use our imaginations,” she said.
To entertain themselves they played a variety of games, not to mention harmless pranks on their neighbours like “black cat gang” and “headless horsemen,” where they’d dress up as headless horsemen or black cats and try to scare their neighbours.
Voykin, one of Glock’s four daughters, remembers her early dinners with family.
“We’d eat first, then we’d be allowed to go watch TV,” she said.
However, a special event did allow for TV watching while eating.
Today, though, the mother and daughter find it relaxing to watch TV and enjoy a meal in each other’s company.
“It’s a way we can both relax together after a long day,” Voykin said.
“The pace of life has picked up. People need to unwind. I don’t know how kids today do it these days,” Glock added.
While young people are usually the ones who get a bad rap for being too attached to their gadgets, some deviate from the norm.
“It sucks the life out of family time,” observed Amanda Michalezki, who lives with her mother and who is among the rare breed of young adults who avoids texting, especially at meals.
“People text each other even if they’re in the same household that dinner is ready, etc.,” she continued.
She noted face-to-face conversation is better for reading emotions and social interactions.
“I don’t text and eat. I actually have a sit-down dinner with my mom in the same room, so we can chat,” she said.
“And you know how back in the day all the family sat down at the table and ate and no one could leave unless they asked to be excuse or until everyone was done? Now it’s like ‘I’ll be in my room!’ or everyone grabs their food and runs to watch TV or put a movie on.”
Holidays such as Thanksgiving are an especially important time for families to eat together, Skaien said.
“Holidays are shared family time. But have everybody chip in so they can be part of the total experience. You definitely can’t miss the holidays,” she recommended.
“Holidays are an excuse to eat more than you should, but they are a time to be grateful for family and good food and plates of it.”
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